They Said I Was Off Partner Path—That Wasn’t the End of the Road

Bloomberg Law Insights introduces Forward, a three-part series with perspectives from professionals on the path ahead once you learn or decide you aren’t making law firm partner.

I remember the moment I learned I wouldn’t be making partner.

The meeting wasn’t planned, so thankfully I didn’t have time to get too much in my head about it. When they said that it’s unlikely I will make partner at the firm, I immediately went into fight-or-flight mode. Everything around me went into slow motion. My heartbeat slowed, and my senses were attuned to my surroundings.

It took me a few hours to come out of that initial shock. I went for a long walk outside without my phone or headphones. Once I came back to the office, it finally set in—I had failed on a personal and professional level.

It was the sudden collapse of the path I’d spent almost a decade pursuing—meeting every metric, working through weekends, canceling vacations, and sacrificing personal time.

The first couple of days after that conversation were difficult, and I felt like I had lost a sense of purpose in my life. But after a while, I found a space I had never allowed myself while pushing toward partnership. I began asking questions I’d never paused long enough to consider.

Instead of marking the end of my trajectory, that moment became an inflection point—one that gave me permission to rethink what I wanted my professional—and personal—life to look like.

When I found out I wasn’t making partner, in addition to the feelings of failure and disappointment, I also felt shame and embarrassment. But what surprised me most was how many people stepped up to support me once I allowed myself to share what I was experiencing. Most of those close to me knew that I wanted to make partner, so reaching out to them with the news wasn’t easy.

I waited a few days before sharing the news to give myself some time to process it. Once I started telling people, it got easier to say each time, mostly because the reactions I got were supportive and understanding. I got in my head about what people would think of me (“She is a total failure, loser, etc.”), but that fear never materialized. Every single person I told reacted with kindness and empathy. Some even reacted with relief because they had been through it themselves.

Mentors offered candid insights from their own careers and were genuinely excited for me about this new chapter. Several mentors shared their own stories of “failure,” including some about not making partner. They told me that being passed up for partner was one of the best things to ever happen to them. They said that they wouldn’t be who they were today if they had made partner, even expressing a sense of gratitude that that career path hadn’t worked out.

Opening up also brought me closer to my peers, who became sources of introductions, support, and advice. I realized I wasn’t navigating this alone—there were far more people invested in my success than I had ever known.

Shortly after the conversation, I worked with a career coach who guided me through values-based reflection that I had never done before. Through the process of giving myself permission to explore a different path, I gained clarity on what I truly wanted next: a role that blended legal analysis with deep partnership across the business.

As I learned more about in-house work—particularly product counsel positions—I realized how well it aligned with my practical, efficient, business-minded approach. I also wanted a career that supported a life outside of work: time with family and friends, space for wellness, and the ability to build a more sustainable routine.

With my career coach encouraging me to network broadly, I began speaking with people across the tech sector and started to see possibilities beyond the firm. Those conversations helped me understand where my skills could fit and gave me support at a time when I was still finding direction. As I interviewed, I relied on the values work I had done with my coach and the research I had done to vet each role, looking for true alignment with how I work best and the kind of life I want outside the office.

When TikTok extended an offer, the decision didn’t feel like settling after not making partner; it felt like clarity. The first time the role, the team, and my values all pointed in the same direction.

To anyone facing the moment I did, I hope you can see it as permission rather than an ending. Not making partner isn’t the end of your story—it’s an opportunity to redefine what success means for you and to let your support network help you get there.

In next week’s installment of this three-part series, a career coach explores how to define the core values that should guide major professional pivots.

This article does not necessarily reflect the opinion of Bloomberg Industry Group, Inc., the publisher of Bloomberg Law, Bloomberg Tax, and Bloomberg Government, or its owners.

Author Information

Amanda Wiethoff is product counsel at TikTok, where she advises on legal and regulatory issues related to the company’s monetization products. Before joining TikTok, Amanda practiced at several leading law firms and served as a law clerk to two federal judges.

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