The Full Lyrics to Edelson P.C.'s Hamilton Parody

Every year, around this time, Big Law Business receives an email from a lawyer — you know who you are — asking to be interviewed for an article about the perils of the ‘office holiday party.’

Beware of the holiday party it warns: Alcohol is likely to flow, shoes may be kicked off on makeshift dance floors and office romances and dramas may suddenly bloom — if all that sounds like a recipe for litigation, test passed, you are indeed a lawyer.

Thankfully, such warnings generally pass unnoticed.

This year, the plaintiff’s law firm Edelson, best-known for suing tech industry giants such as Facebook and Google on privacy- and data security-related claims, is our pick for the law firm with the most elaborate, creative and extravagant holiday party (although to be candid, not a whole lot of research went into that finding). The American Lawyers’ Roy Strom already wrote about the party here and Above the Law has more here ,as well as information for a real Boutique Law Revue contest.

Back to the matter at hand: Last Thursday, Edelson moved en masse to the event space, Low Res Studio, in Chicago’s West Loop area for its holiday party. Once there, flash mob-style, a group of five professional actors performed a rendition of the opening tune to the Broadway musical hit, “Hamilton,” but rewritten with lyrics about life at Edelson.

Christopher Dore, an Edelson partner and one of the principal writers of the lyrics, said he and name partner Jay Edelson were both blown away by the Broadway show. They decided to do a parody of the show’s “Alexander Hamilton” rap.

“It’s like a prologue,” said Dore. “At its heart, it’s about the firm, and what our place in this ecosystem is. And our place in the tech industry.”

Early on, the song references the firm’s case against Spokeo, in which it represented an individual who sued the online company for disseminating false information about his age, marital status, education and other factors. The case wound up all the way at the U.S. Supreme Court earlier this year.

Dore said he and another partner Ari Scharg, with assistance from other lawyers at the firm, spent weeks writing the lyrics, starting around Thanksgiving time. Normally, the firm’s lawyers work with professional film editors to make short SNL-style video skits, but it became clear there wasn’t enough time to do that for Hamilton so they brought in the actors.

“It’s no joke in terms of time commitment,” he explained, about the annual holiday party skits. “There’s a few of us who spend a lot of time on it and we pull in a few people who spend less time on it.”

Below is the ‘Hamilton’ video, as well as the lyrics in fullm which make reference to tech firms such as Amazon and Comscore — both companies that Edelson has sued. It also references the firm’s$76 million settlement earlier this month with Carribean Cruise Line for robocalls that allegedly violated the Telephone Consumer Protection Act.

https://www.youtube.com/embed/ds62J_vO8JY

Edelson/Hamilton Lyrics

Performer 1: How does a law firm, with lawyers playing ping pong in the foyer, Young guns climbin’ up from bottom rungs Performer 2: situated in a Spot in Chi-town, far away from the coast, Performer 1: become the villain folks in Silicon Valley fear the most?

Performer 3: The Spam-slammin’, source code-crackin’ crusaders Performer 4: Giving Spokeo the boot, filin’ mad law suits, in landmark disputes, Bearing expensive fruit Performer 5: Yeah we can settle, but we’d much rather fight for our loot

Performer 6: And every day while facebook and google spent manpower Erasing digital personal space, by the hour, Performer 5: This firm plotted and planned moves, promising to scour Any playa’ who was prepping privacy to be devoured

Performer 1: Then some telecom, web co’s financial misanthrope Decided to write so small you’d need a microscope To see the fine print, Performer 5: putting customers on the ropes Violatin’ their bills with charges for horoscopes

Performer 2: Well the word got around, they said “This firm is insane, y’all” Performer 4: On a mission with ambition and moxie, playing hard ball Performer 2: Wiping out the cheaters, and never backin’ down at all Performer 4: The world’s gonna know this firm, what’s it called?

Performer 3: On the door it says Edelson….but They call us mother fucking Edelson Performer 6: Your shady start-up’s gonna feel the pain When we make it rain, Performers 3 and 6: make it rain

Performer 1: Now on the 13th floor in our spot in River North We ridin’ hover boards down the hall, back and forth Performer 6: We are free to play the Wii, as much as we are able All: This ain’t no country club, we play tennis on this table

Performer 5: Pretty soon, our new rooms are coming with a beach inside Performer 2: And circuit board plates for Misty May and Karch Kiraly Performer 3: Making cross-court kills on a sandy floor And google’s feeling heat, Men: cuz we movin’ in next door!

Performer 4: No other law firm is in the hunt We swing for the fence and they just bunt With cases flyin’ open and shut Hittin’ perpetrators in the gut like All: Google, ComScore, amazon, and zynga Performer 2: Giving the entire tech establishment the finga’

All: Writing... Performer 6: new rules for biometric data ‘bout my face All: Fighting…. Performer 1: for ev’ry single dollar in a snooping case Performer 3: We landed in San Fran Performer 4: set fire Performer 3: watch it burn Performer 4: In this world we need a new law firm Performers 1,2 & 3: In this world we need a new law firm Performer 5: Make it rain!

Performers 1,2,3, & 4: In this world we need a new law firm Performer 5: Make it rain! Performers 1,2,3,4 & 6: In this world we need a new law firm Women: In this world Performers 2 & 3: This world Performer 5: Make it rain!

Women: On the door it says Edelson Men: Rising up its Edelson Women: The moment is here for you Men: The moment is here for you Women: You never back down All: You never take a shitty…….deal

Women: They….know the name of Edelson, Men: Rising up its Edelson Women: When America looks at you, Men: They will know what you overcame, All: And they’ll see how you changed the game, Class deals will never be the same

Performer 2: The Summers in the clerk pit now, see if you can spot em Performer 3: A bunch of marshmallows coming up from the bottom. Performer 1: At the front of this tech war, we won’t be forgotten

Performer 5: We drained the Caribbean Performer 6: For Seventy six million Performer 4: That’s how our cruise began Performer 2: Strong with a Master plan, by who? Performer 3: Just a baby-faced boogeyman

All: In this world we need a new law firm to Make it rain... Performer 1: What’s it called, now? All: Mother Fucking Edelson!

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